It’s the holidays, and I’m dealing with an overwhelming sense of grief that is secondary to the loss of my family members that occurred during the holiday season almost two years ago. I’m attempting to resume my family traditions with a smile on my face, but my heart is troubled and sad. I’m grateful for the numerous friends, and my support network that I am blessed with.
However, I’m hoping that you can offer some insight and suggestions to help me keep my healing heart and perpetual motion this time of year. Thank you.
|“These moments remind us that we are not alone in our darkness and that our broken heart is connected to every heart that has known pain since the beginning of time.” -Brené Brown|
Dear Blue Christmas,
I’m so sorry for your loss. Losing more than one family member during the holidays is very difficult, I can’t imagine. One of the things that has helped me get through the holiday seasons, because I’ve lost quite a few family members myself, was to change my holiday celebrations. To celebrate my loved ones that have crossed over in a different way gave me a new tradition. And that may help you as well.
I’m not sure how you celebrate your holidays now or how you did in the past but save a place for them at the table. Have a ceremony for them and send them love, and then stop and pause for a moment. Before you plan your holidays this season, think about, if they were living with you today, what would they want for you as your relative? What would they want to see for your happiest holiday this year?
For myself, with my children, what I would want for my children is for them to continue to celebrate and live their best life every day, including on the holidays, and I would appreciate their memories and thoughts of me.
Forming new traditions may help because whenever there is a life shift, whether it is a divorce or our kids growing up and they have their own family units, so they can’t travel to see us, our holidays are going to shift over time. Grieving a loss of more than one loved one is the hardest for sure, yet, these are things that are going to happen, so having new form of holiday will make a big difference for you.
I hope this helps.
As Always, I wish you
“Life, Love, Laughter & Light!”