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Dear Sheila,

I have been a caregiver of my father for close to 10 years. He is a disabled veteran. I’m a single woman with three adult children, and I’m the only one who is able to care for him. I am so incredibly honored to get to care for my father. In the daily activities, I get exhausted with the tasks of managing treatment schedules. My social and personal life is very much on the back burner. My father shares his guilty feelings with me and says he is a burden. I assure my dad he is not. I want some help with his care-giving, and I feel that I am inadequate with his efforts for feeling this way.

Would you be able to offer me some navigation in looking for options to help me secure some resources to assist me with my dad? Also, how can I take some time to press the reset button in my life to help me find some personal time for myself?

–Too Tired To Think

“We don’t have to do all of it alone. We are never meant to.” -Brené Brown

Dear Too Tired To Think,

It is an honor to have such a beautiful daughter. Your dad must be an amazing man, and veteran. That’s wonderful that you’re helping him so much, although it sounds like it is too much. The thing about being a parent is we want our children to live their best lives as well. Although it’s honorable that you are helping out your dad so much, the beauty with him being a veteran is that there are so many extra services out there to help him. Between veteran services, and other care services, there are so many options for you to get free and low-cost services to help you care for your dad. That way you can focus on just being his daughter and being present with him to have magical moments and time together for you both to enjoy.

In my book and on my website, I have a list of resources for veterans and also for people that need elder care and assisted living, and different types of Home Health options and referral agencies that you can connect with that will help you get your dad taken care of so you can focus on enjoying your time together.

Also, there’s another chapter in my book about how to have self-care and personal time. You can recharge on your own, and when your dad spends time with you, you can talk about your memories, and build some more magical moments together, and that is going to be a great gift to him. I’m so thankful that you wrote in about this because I’m sure there’s a lot of other people out there in the same situation that don’t know about all of the different services that are available for their parents who need care. I had to take care of both sets of grandparents and both sets of parents, all at once. I was very young, and I had no clue about how to help them, and that’s why I believed it was very important to have a whole list of different referral services that can help get you connected and get help for your family members. I hope this helps you.

As always, I wish you,

“Life, Love, Laughter & Light!” –

-Sheila Mac

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